If someone has a child who is living a homosexual lifestyle and is planning on getting “married” to a person of the same sex, as a Catholic should I not attend the wedding?

Aug. 2, 2026

After last week’s article in the bulletin inviting others to send in questions they may have, I was happy to receive a couple emails with some good questions being posed that people were genuinely wondering about. I will try to get to them all and any others that come in over the next few weeks.

The first question we will look at is: If someone has a child who is living a homosexual lifestyle and is planning on getting “married” to a person of the same sex, as a Catholic should I not attend the wedding? Do I choose my faith over my child?

This is a difficult situation, and I truly sympathize with the internal dilemma that it would cause. On the one hand we have the unconditional love of a parent for their child, a love and a relationship that is a very deep part of our lives on this earth. On the other we have someone we love making a decision to live in a manner that directly contradicts our Faith. Firstly, we understand how important the love of a parent for their child and the family bond is, but we are also aware of the fact that to love means also to disagree or say “no” to certain things. The love of Christ is evidenced in the fact that He died and rose again for us and also that He gave us commandments to follow and a Church to guide us.

The risk in question here is possibly alienating the child or failing to live my Faith. To start, the Church asks us to use a well-formed conscience and make the proper decision and accept the responsibility. Taking an active role in such a “wedding” would be “formal cooperation” in evil, meaning I am not only supporting it, but helping it to take place. Formal cooperation in evil is never permitted. In forming the conscience to make the proper decision, the Church does offer certain considerations for us to take into account, that way I know what I am choosing and the possible consequences of it. Being alienated from a loved one is never good or easy, we all know that, but sometimes I can love someone enough to refuse to go along with a decision that I know is bad. I have to consider not only what the consequences would be if I don’t attend but also what the consequences would be if I do. As a faithful Catholic, if I were to attend it would be sending the signal that in some way, I am okay with what is happening. In moral theology we have a concept called “to cause scandal”. This is not simply actively doing something that is morally wrong, but in an even deeper sense, it is giving the outside picture that while I am not actively a part of the situation, I am passively involved in it due to my very presence. As such I could be giving a bad example to those who might not know any better or those who were looking to me for guidance or affirming those who have already made such a decision. In such a case I risk what is called “material cooperation” in evil – it could encourage others to do the same. Which poses the greater evil? To risk losing a relationship with someone we love on this earth or to risk accepting something contrary to the Faith and possibly lead others astray as well? Now, with these things to consider, the Church asks me to make a decision, on which is going to be the most helpful in saving my soul and saving the souls of those that I love.

Christ told us that our Faith in Him and following Him would cause us to be separated from some people – not in an abstract way but in a very real way. He did promise us also that He would always be with us. While this seems like a difficult pill to swallow at the moment to us, it is important to remember that the good I do now, the suffering I am willing to undergo – even being separated from ones I love on this earth - might be the one thing that helps save their souls.

My two cents: I am no stranger to being separated from others or losing relationships on this earth because of my Faith or the moral stands I take, so I do sympathize with all of those who are in situations like this. My one thought and one consolation in it all is that by the temporary earthly suffering and separation we have to endure, if I persevere in the Faith and do not cease praying and sacrificing for those that I love, even when they do not wish to be a part of my life now, I am still fighting for the opportunity for eternal happiness for us together in heaven. My prayers and suffering just might help gain those graces for them to return to God.

God love you,

Fr. Anthony